just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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