Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
