glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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