Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
