dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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