try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
