dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
