Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
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I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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