She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
