you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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