Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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