just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
