yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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