my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
