I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
