listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
