on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
