now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
