I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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