Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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