So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
try to milk me bitch
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