The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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