I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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