im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
