he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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