So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
