I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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