She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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