i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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