fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think i have two assholes
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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