I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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