Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
