If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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