My cat gives me a boner
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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