it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
