Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
These tits shall not be calmed
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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