I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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