what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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