you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
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The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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