did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
