I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
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Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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