I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
