just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
