I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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