After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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