are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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