On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i now understand why vodka
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
