So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
