Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
