Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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