dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
