Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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