Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
