I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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