I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
