My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
