Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
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