Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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