i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
