ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
