just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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