Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
