shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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