Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
